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So the adventure starts....
22/10/2016 Damson Park
Solihull Moors v Tranmere Rovers
Today's trip started with a train journey through the West Midlands version of the "deliverance". I don't think I would have seen these sort of creations in a special effects studio in Hollywood, but they are out there, in Kidderminster, Cradley Heath and Stourbridge, you mark my words they are real. Anyway, an hour later I met Darryl at Solihull Train station and we jumped into a taxi he had booked. This is where we realised walking would have been a safer bet. We swerved in and out of lanes, driving through red lights and narrowly missing pedestrians crossing the road before arriving at the fortress the locals call "Le Stade Damson Park". The high pitch scream of the Tranmere fans Scouse accent could be heard above the dull drone of the Solihull faithful, we made our way through the turnstiles and headed straight to the burger bar, because where else would you go at a football match? And this I must say was the highlight of Solihull Moors, a great 1/4 pound cheese burger which scores a Beak and Pissflap food rating of 8.5 out of 10.
We made our way behind the goal taking our place just to the right of the Solihull ultra, although their chants were limited to "Solihull Solihull Solihull", "Referees a wanker" and " you fat bastard their banter was half decent. Beak and and Pissflap Fan rating 6 out of 10.
The game started and it was instantly apparent we were at a non league football match, the long ball was over used and Solihull looked well out of their depth. We found some entertainment in the Solihull right back who in UE standards would muster a 15 positional value and nothing more than a 45 overall rating, it's probably safe to say he was obviously related to the chairman or manager, because if this wasn't the case he surely would have been shot and buried within the first 5 minutes.
The breakthrough came shortly before halftime directly from a Tranmere goal kick, which was missed by everyone and landed at the feet of their centre forward Kirby, who was in an offside position where he was able to slot it home with ease. According to the referee who was stood next to us, you can't be offside directly from a goal kick?! We learn something new everyday.
At the interval, a Tranmere fan found his way into the home end and decided that from the 300+ fans behind the goal it would be me he would talk to, Darryl made a run for it and left me to it! Apparently Tranmere have a Premiership standard stadium and I'd love it. Thankfully his legs were aching and he made his way to the seated area and Darryl magically returned.
The second half started much like the first half finished, Tranmere attacking.
Thankfully, Solihull had decided to make a game of it and started to look more interested, the looked more imaginative and played a lot faster, moving the ball freely from one side to the other. This created a number of chances for Solihull but it would be fair to say they could be still playing now and wouldn't have scored.
Now, if peter Kay was a footballer he was definitely playing for Tranmere today! Enter Steve McNulty, a player who the song "who ate all the pies" was written for, when he was jogging backwards, he beeped! If this lad wasn't made for sport he wasn't letting on though. He won everything in the air, and was still playing at the same pace at 90 minutes (granted it was an extremely slow pace) he even managed to clear the ball over the bar with his hand without the referee seeing?!? Credit to him though, he did a job today.
The 80th minute had crept up on us and 1-0 would have been a fair result, but Tranmere had another gear and used it. Kirby scored again, this time from a rebound after a great save from Solihull Keeper, Danny Lewis. Now the travelling Tranmere fans were making some noise (they even sing in a Scouse accent)
The Solihull end started to empty as they had seen enough, which was probably just as well, Tranmere made it 3 in added time with a great headed finish from Norwood!
This was our queue to take our leave and dash for a taxi, but again I had some how attracted a weirdo Solihull fan who kept us talking, and we walked off in the wrong direction!
Beak and Possflap match rating 5 out of 10.
All in all a decent day, a average game of football but a really good laugh. Really enjoyed it and we would love to meet up with some of you on our next non-league adventure!
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Solihull 0 Tranmere 3
Attendance 1,995
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